I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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