How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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