Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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