oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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