I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
