...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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