It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
