what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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