I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
