U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
