Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
