Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
