If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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