i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
