I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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