At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
