she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
