kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
