the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
