so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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