I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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