Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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