Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
