butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
