I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
