I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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