Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
