All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Houston, we have a squirter
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
