dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
