Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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