Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
