I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
