this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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