god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
