I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize