After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
worst night to have a conscience
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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