one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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