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I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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