she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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