So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize