for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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