Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
