So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
