For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
