If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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