I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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