Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
