I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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