So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
