a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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