If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
