Small penises have feelings too.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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