I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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