This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
