I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
