Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
