I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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