oh god the rape fog is back!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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