k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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