GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
