member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
