There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i dont even know how to be here
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
