i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
