two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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