The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
