dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
soo... how was my night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
