You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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