Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
