hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
