he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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