Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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