One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i out mim tonsoeep
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
