i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
